It was freezing this morning when I got up at 6.25am to get ready to walk Oscar and then rush off to work. I was so snug in bed, it was the usual wrench to get out at all. I wished I could spend the entire day in my jim-jams at home, slobbing around watching crap tv and pottering about. That feeling lasted all day.
It’s tipping with rain outside now (00:36), I’ve given Oscar his last toilet break and I should have hit the sack hours ago for another early start. But. It’s warm and cosy and I’m loving being able to just do my own thing without having to cater to anyone elses whims and fancies. I can be up at this time and it doesn’t affect anyone but me. I can sit in bed typing this and nobody’s having a go telling me to get to sleep.
In fact living on my own in my little flat with personal effects which reflect my interests, personality and character is such an addiction, I sometimes wonder if I unconsciously sabotage having relationships because I don’t want to lose the one I so enjoy with my flat. Isn’t that a dreadful thing to admit.
For those of you that can’t imagine the bliss of solo living, I can thoroughly recommend it! If it seems too lonely and scary, believe me it’s not if you’re comfortable in your own skin and love a bit of time out. Because I am happy to do my own thing, my flat is the Sanctuary that I can’t do without. It was very hard to come by – given my age and the difficulty of trying to obtain a mortgage a couple of years ago.
It’s quite small, so putting my stamp on it isn’t easy without it looking over crowded. It’s a simple 2 bedroom property, only 10 years old – no original features, no fireplaces and no sash windows. It’s a simple, basic flat which is my castle and my most treasured possession.
There’s nothing like coming home after a hard day at work, slipping into my ill-fitting track suit and throwing myself infront of Corrie. My plants are growing well, the pictures on my walls bring back memories of years past and I love being able to put my CD player on without being told I’m not up with the times. I can be unjudged, unhinged and un-anything on my own terms.
There’s a sense of satisfaction being able to sit on the loo with the door open, experiment and fail with food recipes without the accompanying shame, try on 1001 clothes on a night out without being rushed, lie in the bath for hours without being chased out because somebody else wants to use it and sleep until 2pm in the afternoon without being chided for wasting the day. I could go on and on…..
It clearly isn’t for everyone, but I recommend giving it a shot (if you can) at some point in your life. I’m lovin’ it 🙂